A Pair of Phoenixes
by Kristen Hudson
Summary: Harry has defeated Voldemort, but at a high price to himself.
1. Chapter 1

*This story begins at the end of the summer after Harry's seventh-year. Canon events through OotP happened. Sixth and seventh-year are different from canon, and are vague in this story.

*Warnings: Sensitive topics, such as slavery and suicide, lots of angst and mush, potential OOC ness.

*Harry has very recently killed Voldemort. Severus almost died in the battle as well, but was resuscitated.

Chapter 1

Albus and Poppy were working over Harry when Severus tore into the infirmary, any thoughts of propriety long forgotten.

"I heard…the portraits were saying," the Potions Master gasped when he caught sight of Harry's bloodied form lying in the bed. "Harry!"

Severus would have lost his head completely and rushed to the bed, getting in Poppy's way except that Albus sensed his intentions and, deciding that the medi-witch could finish healing the boy on her own, intercepted him.

"Severus, he'll be all right. He's out of danger now," the headmaster said quietly, catching Severus by the arm and gently guiding him to a nearby chair. When Severus tried weakly to resist, the older wizard spoke more firmly, "You need to sit before you yourself collapse."

Severus glowered, but couldn't deny that the adrenaline-based strength which had propelled him to the infirmary was fading fast. He sank into the chair and watched in tense silence while Poppy continued to minister to Harry. Albus quietly conjured another chair and sat beside him.

Finally, after an interminable wait, Poppy vanished the last trace of Harry's blood and turned to them. "He's going to be all right, physically anyhow. I've given him enough blood-replenisher to boost him back into safety's range and healed the wounds on his arms as much as I can for now. He'll sleep for a while and he'll be weak when he does wake. He'll need to keep taking the replenisher at regular intervals for the next couple of days."

It was Poppy's caveat, _physically anyhow_, that triggered Severus' suspicions, though he had already suspected, hadn't he? It was why he'd been so uneasy ever since Harry had left that morning after learning that Severus' near death experience had not freed him from the slavery spell after all. It was why he'd been unable to settle down to rest and had finally left his rooms to search for the boy. Severus could only feel bitter guilt that he had not searched earlier, that he had let Harry go off on his own at all. But he just hadn't been able to believe that Harry would actually attempt suicide. He hadn't wanted to admit that the boy was in so much pain.

"He did this to himself, didn't he?" Severus asked in a dull voice.

"It appears so, yes." Poppy's voice was sad.

"How did you know?" Albus asked.

Severus looked at him with haunted eyes. "He's spoken of wanting to die. He said once that he hoped he would die in battle with Voldemort and that he didn't think he could bear to go on afterwards. But that was at the beginning of summer, right after we'd enacted the spell. He had seemed…better…lately. I thought he was accepting things. I've…I've tried to make him happy. I have."

"Of course you have." Poppy laid a hand on his shoulder in comfort.

Severus shook his head harshly. "But I should have known. I should have…" he stopped, unable to continue past the huge lump that had lodged in his throat.

"It isn't your fault, Severus," Albus reassured him.

Severus just looked from him to Poppy and back again. "What happened? How did you find him?"

Albus sighed. "I had gone into Hogsmeade for lunch and I was on my way back to the castle when some children raced out of the Shrieking Shack, screaming and saying that there was blood everywhere and a body. I ran inside and saw Harry lying on the floor. He had cut both of his wrists, his whole forearms actually, from the wrists up to the elbows, and he had sliced a chunk out of his upper left arm as well. I tried to heal the wounds as best I could, and then I grabbed him and Flooed here to the infirmary. Thank Heavens we put in that connection when Remus Lupin was a student."

Severus didn't respond. Instead he stood, ignoring the weakness in his legs, and went to Harry, lying down beside him and taking the boy in his arms. The thought flitted through his mind how at one time he had been so determined to hide his feelings for Harry, as if showing affection were a weakness. That seemed so foolish now.

"Call me when he wakes, Severus," Poppy said quietly as she slowly headed off to her office at the other end of the infirmary and closed the door behind her. Albus left too, murmuring about some paperwork that needed to be completed before school began, leaving Severus alone with Harry.

"Don't leave me, child. I need you," he whispered. There were so many other things he wanted to say, but his thoughts were a jumble and he could only repeat, "I need you, Harry."

For a time he just lay there, staring at the boy's pale wan face, the brilliant emerald eyes closed as if they would never open again. But no, Severus wouldn't let himself think that. Harry was going to be fine. Albus and Poppy had both said so.

But how could he be fine when he was so miserable that he had wanted to die and Severus didn't know how in the world to help him? There just wasn't much he could do about the root cause of Harry's unhappiness. Severus couldn't free him from the slavery spell. His gaze turned from the child's thin face to the thick bandages on his arms, and to the one on his upper left arm in particular. Albus would not understand why Harry had wounded himself there, unless he had guessed, but Severus knew. Harry had cut off the slavery mark.

An alarm went off in Severus' mind. He hated it, knowing that it hurt Harry so, but according to the dictates of the spell, Harry had to be marked in some way, permanently. If there were any way around it, Severus wouldn't do it again, but he was afraid that the spell itself would begin to punish Harry for violating its terms.

Perhaps if Harry couldn't see the mark, he wouldn't think about it. Probably a foolish hope, but Severus was desperate. And now was probably the best time to do it, too, before the spell decided to act and while Harry was still unconscious and would not be aware.

Severus thought for a few seconds and then very gently and cautiously rolled Harry over onto his side. He eased the blue pyjama top up and touched the tip of his wand to a spot on Harry's left shoulder blade. He numbed the skin first, then cast the mark. Like the first, it was a tiny dark circle. Anyone would think it was only a mole or a freckle. Anyone except Harry and Severus.

With a sigh, Severus laid his wand aside, re-adjusted the pyjama top and lay back on his own side, facing Harry and reaching to hold him again.

Harry woke in the evening, several hours after Albus had rushed him into the infirmary. Severus was still lying beside him, holding him in his arms, when he saw that Harry's eyes had opened, though they were disturbingly blank.

"Harry?" Severus asked softly. "How do you feel?"

There was no response and Severus felt both heartache and fear at the emptiness in the boy's green eyes.

"You're going to be all right," he murmured, reaching out to gently card his fingers through Harry's dark hair and then resting his hand against Harry's cheek. "Everything is going to be all right, I promise."

Slowly Severus sat up, leaning over to brush his lips against Harry's forehead. "I need to call Poppy." He raised his voice, calling for the medi-witch and sat on his edge of the bed as she bustled in from her office, carrying another vial of blood-replenisher.

"Harry, dear. How are you feeling?" Poppy already had her wand out, running through diagnostic spells.

Harry didn't respond to her either. He kept laying still, his eyes staring at nothing and gave no indication that he was aware of Poppy, Severus, or anything else.

Poppy and Severus exchanged concerned glances, but then Poppy quickly returned to examining her patient.

"You're going to be just fine, dear. Everything is going to be fine," she said, unknowingly echoing Severus. "Your blood level is rising, but I do need for you to take another dose of replenisher for me. Can you do that, Harry?"

She held the bottle of dark red liquid to his lips, but Harry made no move to open his mouth. Poppy bit her lip. "Well, I'll just spell it into your system this time, all right?"

She did so and then reached for a jar of salve that had been sitting on the bedside table. "Now your wounds are healing well, but we'll need to put dittany salve on every day for a week to make certain they don't scar."

She began to open the lid, but Severus held out his hand for it. "Let me, Poppy, please."

Poppy nodded and handed it over. She stood beside the bed uncertainly for a few seconds before asking, "Harry, can you tell us what happened?" She might as well have been speaking to a statue as to a living person. Harry seemed to have been turned to stone.

Severus suspected that Poppy knew exactly why Harry had attempted suicide, just as surely as he and Albus knew. Because of the spell, because living as a slave was just too painful for him, for all that Severus had tried to make it bearable, comfortable even.

But they needed to get through to Harry, to help him heal somehow, and talking about it was the first step. But Harry seemed to have closed himself off completely and Severus had a sinking feeling that getting through to him wasn't going to be easy.

After a moment of silence, Poppy repeated quietly, "Everything will work out, dear. We all care for you very much." She rested her hand against Harry's cheek as Severus had done earlier.

"I'll put the salve on, Poppy. Why don't you go to dinner?" Severus asked after another moment. He wanted to be alone with Harry.

Poppy glanced at him and nodded. "All right, Severus. I'll be back in about an hour."

When she had left, Severus went around to the other side of the bed so as to be better able to tend to Harry. He carefully removed the bandages from the boy's right forearm first and gently smoothed dittany salve over the long gash running from Harry's wrist to elbow, and then re-bandaged his arm in fresh gauze. Severus then did the same with the boy's left forearm, all the time talking softly.

"Oh, child, I'm so sorry. I should have known. I'm supposed to take care of you, and I failed. I'm so sorry. But I'm going to do better and we are going to make things all right. I meant what I said before, Harry. We can do anything you want to do. If you want to be an Auror or a Quidditch player or anything else, we'll find a way to make that happen. Or you don't have to have a career at all. You've certainly done more than enough. There's plenty of money and I'll take care of you. That's all I want, Harry, to take care of you and to give you everything you want."

Severus swallowed the lump that suddenly came to his throat because of course, he couldn't give Harry the one thing the boy truly wanted…his freedom. Only death could free Harry from the spell. But anything else…he would give Harry anything else in the world.

But would that be enough?

At one time Severus had thought so. He had thought that with time, with Severus loving him and treating him kindly and generously, that Harry could accept living as a slave. He'd even dared to hope that one day Harry would be happy.

Now he wasn't so sure.

But he instinctively sensed that Harry needed to hear reassurances now and Severus pushed his doubts away to the back of his mind.

He then turned his attention to the injury on the boy's upper left arm.

"Oh, child," he murmured as he unwrapped the bandage and saw the deep wound. It wasn't a cut. It looked as if Harry had actually carved a hole in his arm, almost down to the bone. Severus was not the sentimental type. At least he hadn't been before he'd opened his heart to Harry Potter, but his eyes filled with tears at the thought of the pain the child must have suffered…both the sheer physical pain and the emotional anguish that must have tormented him for some time now, to drive him to commit such an injury to himself.

With tender fingers Severus applied the salve and put on a clean bandage. Then he took Harry's hands in his own and said, "Harry, I know this is so hard for you…it would be for anyone. But this mark isn't anything to be ashamed of. It isn't. You sacrificed your freedom to save us all from Voldemort. That took an incredible amount of courage. It was such a brave and noble thing for you to do."

He swallowed hard before continuing, "You are a brave and noble person, Harry. I admire you so much. We all do."

Severus searched anxiously for any sign of awareness in the child's green eyes, but Harry remained as still and lifeless as a statue.

Severus touched his lips to the bandaged wound. "Thank you, Harry."

He went around the bed, lay back down, and gathered Harry into his arms, holding him to his chest, close to his heart.

When Poppy returned, she came over and asked quietly, "Any change?"

Severus shook his head. "No."

She summoned another vial of blood-replenisher and spelled it into Harry's system; then ran through another diagnostic spell.

"Physically, he's doing well. The wounds will take a few days to completely heal, perhaps a week, but they've already closed. His blood level is a little low, but not dangerously so." Poppy looked from Harry to Severus with grave eyes. "But I'm very concerned about Harry's emotional state."

"Yes," Severus agreed in a pain-laden whisper. He bowed his head to rest his lips against Harry's hair.

Poppy sighed and came around to lay her hand on Severus' arm. "And how are you doing, Severus? You should still be here as a patient yourself. I released you on the condition that you would rest and care for yourself at home. And instead you've been very upset and stressed, too."

Severus shook his head. "I'm fine."

Poppy insisted on performing a diagnostic spell on him, too, before she was satisfied. "You're still weak, Severus, so I want you to lie here with Harry and rest for the night."

Severus nodded. It was what he had intended to do anyway. A thought suddenly occurred to him and looked up. "Weasley and Granger. Someone should tell them what's happened. They will want to be here, too."

Poppy looked surprised, but she nodded. "Yes, you're right. Do you want me to have Albus notify them?"

There was a part of Severus that was reluctant to agree. He couldn't help feeling a bit jealous of the close comaraderie that Harry shared with his two best friends, their easy chatter and open affection for one another. Harry loved them, and that knowledge hurt Severus…not because he wanted to take it away from them, but because he wanted so badly for Harry to love him too.

He also dreaded having to face Weasley and Granger. They knew he was supposed to care for Harry, to protect him from harm, and they would see that he had obviously failed. Severus dreaded seeing the condemnation and anger in their eyes.

But Harry loved them, and they loved him, too. Severus couldn't deny them the chance to be together now at this dire time…especially if there was a possibility that his friends' presence might help Harry.

So he nodded again and answered Poppy. "Yes, I suppose so."

"I'll speak with him, and then I'm going to retire to my rooms for the night, but I've charmed them so all you have to do is call if you or Harry need me, and I'll hear you," she told him.

"Thank you, Poppy."

She left and Severus closed his eyes. He didn't mean to sleep. He wanted to watch over Harry for a while yet. But he was so tired; he just had to rest, just for a minute. That was all…just for a minute…

Severus was asleep within seconds.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

The low murmur of voices woke Severus and he opened his eyes to find Albus, Weasley, and Granger standing beside the bed. Granger looked as if she'd been crying and Weasley's face was unusually somber and concerned.

Severus turned at once to Harry, but the boy was asleep. The others noticed that the Potions Master had woken and Albus asked, "Severus, are you all right?"

"Well enough," he replied in a quiet tone.

They all gazed at Harry and Granger whispered, "Has he woken up?"

Severus nodded and sighed. "Yes, but he…doesn't seem to be aware of anything."

"Is his mind affected?" Weasley looked horrified.

"He has not suffered any brain damage, if that's what you mean," Severus answered wearily. "But he seems to have shut himself off, to have shut out the world."

"No wonder. The world's never done anything but hurt him," Weasley said bitterly.

"Yes," Severus agreed. He looked back at the child beside him and felt an aching lump settle in his throat. He swallowed hard to banish it. He could not indulge in weakness now. Harry needed him to be strong.

He felt a light touch on his arm and turned in surprise to see that Granger had come around to his side of the bed and had laid a hand on his arm.

"Professor Snape? I want you to know that when we first learned that Harry had had to become your slave, we were very upset and to be honest, a bit frightened for him. We didn't think that you would physically abuse him, but we were worried that you would be horrible about it all and would make Harry miserable."

"Thank you very much, Miss Granger." Severus kept his voice low so as not to disturb Harry, but he couldn't prevent the snide undertone. He refused to let himself remember that in fact he had been harsh and cold to Harry when they'd first learned about the spell, not to mention the years before that when he'd continuously mistreated the boy.

Granger shook her head. "But we were wrong. You've been really good to Harry. You've protected him and cared for him, and Ron and I want to thank you for that."

If she had proposed marriage to him, Severus wouldn't have been any more shocked. He stared at her for a long moment before finding his voice.

"But I haven't. Look at him. This wouldn't have happened if I had cared for him as I should have." Severus himself was surprised at the raw pain that bled through his words, but he simply couldn't hide it any longer.

Granger's dark eyes filled with tears, but she said firmly, "This isn't your fault, sir. Harry is hurting. Of course he is, much more than we even knew. But it isn't your fault. You didn't want him to be a slave. Harry's told us a few things…how you've let him keep all his old things in his room and use them like he wants, how you've sat up with him when he had nightmares, and…"

She hesitated before finishing. "He told us about the day before you enacted the spell, how he went out to the lake and was sitting there crying, and you came and found him. He said that you promised that you would always see him as a person, not a slave, that you would always treat him with respect. And he said that you held him in your arms for the rest of the afternoon."

To Severus' further shock, Granger took his hand, gave it a squeeze, and stared into his eyes. "That's the only reason why Ron and I didn't take Harry and run off to Australia."

"Because we'd have done it, too, if you'd ever harmed Harry," Weasley said, his blue eyes perfectly serious. "But Hermione is right, sir. This isn't your fault. We've seen you with Harry and you're good with him. No one else could have done more."

Their absolution completely bewildered Severus and he found that he had no idea how to respond. Finally he just nodded and mumbled something that might have been thanks.

"Why don't you try to go back to sleep, Severus?" Albus suggested. "I'm sure you need the rest after your own narrow escape. We will wake you if there is any change in Harry's condition."

Severus wished they would go away and let him be alone with Harry. He didn't want to sleep in front of an audience. But he knew it was no use. Weasley and Granger wouldn't want to leave their friend, and Severus was really too weak and tired to fight off sleep much longer. He sighed again and acquiesced, lying back against the pillows and settling his arm around Harry without a word. He was dimly aware when the others conjured chairs, but that was the last thing he was aware of before exhaustion overcame him.

The next few days crawled by with agonizing slowness. Severus gradually regained his strength. Weasley and Granger were a constant presence in the infirmary. From what Harry had told him, Severus knew that Granger was continuing her studies in advanced training, and that Weasley was working at that infernal joke shop with his brothers. The twins planned to open a new branch in Hogsmeade in another year or two…as a professor, Severus could barely suppress his dismay at that news…and have their younger brother run it. In the meantime, Weasley was helping them with the Diagon Alley store, learning the business and gaining experience.

But apparently both of Harry's best friends were willing to put their lives on hold to stay with him. Severus couldn't help but feel a grudging admiration for their loyalty and devotion.

Harry's physical wounds healed. Severus insisted on caring for him himself. Several times throughout the day he would gently smooth dittany salve on the cuts and re-bandage them. Whenever he tended to the injury on Harry's left arm, where the boy had cut off the slavery mark, Severus always pressed a light kiss to the bandage and thanked Harry for saving him, for saving everyone, from Voldemort.

The first time he did this, he sensed Weasley and Granger staring at him in shock, and he raised his head and glared at them. But then he realized that they weren't mocking him. Granger's eyes were soft and warm, and Weasley looked thoughtful.

They talked with Harry too. Severus refused to give up his spot next to Harry, but Weasley and Granger took turns sitting on the other side of the bed next to him, while the other pulled a chair as close as it could possibly get. They thanked Harry too, for the sacrifice he had made to save them all. Granger caressed his hair and kissed his cheek, and Weasley held his hand.

They were all awkward around one another at first, but Severus had decided that for once he wasn't going to hold back. He couldn't afford to with Harry so shattered. It might be difficult and embarrassing for him to show his love and affection so openly in front of the others, but he wasn't going to let their presence keep him from giving Harry what he needed. Weasley and Granger must have come to a similar conclusion.

Amazingly enough, after a while, it wasn't awkward anymore. Severus realized that Weasley and Granger weren't going to laugh or poke fun when he held Harry in his arms and stroked his hair. They didn't see love as a weakness. They loved Harry too, perhaps as much as Severus himself did.

And at some point, Severus wasn't even exactly sure when it happened, they ceased being 'Weasley' and 'Granger' and became 'Ron' and 'Hermione'.

But in spite of all the tender care and loving attention, in spite of all their efforts to reassure Harry that sacrificing his freedom had been a brave and heroic thing, Harry's emotional state did not improve. He slept for long hours…or at least he lay still and kept his eyes closed. Severus sometimes wondered if he were truly asleep. When he was awake he simply gazed into space with blank unseeing eyes. Harry never spoke or made any sound at all. He ignored Dumbledore's entreaties and Poppy's pleas. The medi-witch was forced to resort to spelling his medicines into him and had to begin giving him nutritive potions as well, since he wouldn't eat.

Severus discussed bringing in mind-Healers from St. Mungo's with Ron, Hermione, and Poppy, but the slavery spell was still a secret from most of the world and they all knew that Harry had been terrified of the public discovering it.

"I don't know how much good a mind-Healer could do without knowing the whole story," Ron spoke quietly.

"Mind-Healers do take an oath of secrecy…" Poppy began, but Severus, Ron, and even Hermione immediately rejected that idea.

"Normally I'd have already sent for a mind-Healer, but Harry didn't even tell us about the slavery spell for the longest time," Hermione said. "He hates the idea of anyone else knowing. If he knew that we had told anyone, even a mind-Healer, I think it would finish him."

"He'd never come back to us," Ron agreed.

Severus nodded. "They're right. And I believe that Ron is correct that a mind-Healer would not be much use without knowing the cause of Harry's despair. It is up to us to help him."

They had gathered a short distance away from Harry's bed. Now Ron and Hermione went back to him, cuddling close and murmuring to Harry in soft, soothing voices. Severus watched them even as he spoke to Poppy.

"Harry's physical injuries are healed, aren't they, Poppy?"

She nodded. "Yes, though I'd feel better if we could tempt him to eat some solid food. Nutritive potions are adequate to sustain life, but they aren't as beneficial as real food."

"I'd feel better if we could tempt Harry to come out of this state he's in," Severus said heavily. He looked at her and said. "And on that note, I want you to release Harry from the infirmary, Poppy. I want to take him home."


	3. Chapter 3

Thank you all for your support and your encouragement. I really do appreciate it. I hope you'll enjoy this next chapter.

Chapter 3

"We're going home in the morning." Severus broke the news that evening as he, Ron, and Hermione sat by Harry's bedside, having a simple dinner of ham sandwiches and chicken noodle soup. He had already spelled a nutritive potion into Harry's system and the boy had closed his eyes soon afterwards.

Severus wasn't sure if he was actually asleep though so he reached over and lightly brushed Harry's hair back from his forehead. "It will be good to be home again, won't it, Harry?"

Ron and Hermione were both quiet. Severus wasn't sure what he'd expected them to say, but he had expected some kind of response, not just this stricken silence.

"Is there a problem?" He asked them after a minute.

"Oh, no," Hermione said, though Severus thought she still looked upset. "It's just…just that with Harry like this, and these past few days…" She trailed off uncertainly.

But now Severus understood.

"You are both welcome in our quarters anytime," he told them. "Indeed I hope you will come. Harry needs all of us, I believe."

Ron and Hermione looked relieved and Hermione even managed to smile at him, though her smile faded when she looked back at Harry.

"Harry, please come back to us. We need you, too," she said softly, squeezing his hand.

But Harry remained still and unresponsive.

Severus woke at dawn the next morning. From the high window facing east he could see the rim of the silvery sun rising over the treetops and lightening the heavy grey sky when he sat up. As had become his custom, he looked over at Harry immediately. The boy was lying on his side, his legs curled up to his chest as if even in sleep he needed to protect himself from the world that had always treated him with cruel injustice.

Ron and Hermione were still asleep as well. Hermione lay on the cot to the right, though only her thick curly hair was visible above a soft blue blanket. Ron sprawled on the cot beyond, snoring lightly.

The house elves had left Severus' fresh clothes lying folded in a neat stack on a nearby chair and he carded his fingers through Harry's hair before silently sliding out of bed and collecting them. He went into the infirmary's bathroom to wash and dress and when he came back out, Ron was sitting up.

"Morning, Severus," the red-haired boy said around a wide yawn.

Severus nodded to him, thinking that it still seemed very odd for them to be on a first-name basis now, though he had to admit that it was surprisingly pleasant too.

"I wonder if I might ask a favour of you," he remarked quietly.

Ron nodded. "Sure, I guess so. What is it, sir?"

"I was thinking that now that Harry is no longer physically injured, it might be better if we tried to treat him less like an invalid. To start with, he could wear real clothes and sit up during the day, not simply lie in bed in pyjamas," Severus replied.

Ron nodded. "Sounds good."

"Well, I wondered if, after you dress, you would go down to our rooms and bring back some of Harry's clothes?" Severus wondered if Ron would ask why he didn't do it himself. He hoped not. Even with this new understanding between him and Harry's friends, he thought it would sound crazy to admit that he didn't want to leave Harry even for a few minutes. But he'd come so close to losing him. Severus just couldn't help it. He did not want to let Harry out of his sight ever again.

But Ron only nodded again and repeated, "Sure."

"I would be most grateful," Severus told him. "The password for the outer door is 'asphodel'. You'll enter into the parlour and on the opposite wall you'll see two doors to separate bedrooms. Harry's is to the left and his clothes are in the wardrobe."

A short while later Ron emerged from the bathroom, wearing a long-sleeved T-shirt and jeans, and left for the dungeons. Hermione woke, wished Severus a good morning, checked on Harry, and went off to dress as well.

She was still in the bathroom when Ron returned, bearing a pile of clothes which he set down on the foot of Harry's bed.

"Wow, sir. You bought Harry some really nice things," he said, indicating the shirt he'd selected…a red rugby style shirt with a navy collar, dark green sleeves, and a navy stripe across the front, running diagonally from the top of the left shoulder down to the right hem. Like all of Harry's new clothes, the shirt came from Gladrags and the store's tiny golden logo was embossed on the right side near the top.

For some reason Severus felt a little defensive. It was true that he'd ended up spending a not-so-small fortune on Harry's wardrobe, much more than he had originally intended to, and it was most unlike him. Severus had never had any use for fancy clothes or for the social status they implied. He had always preferred to dress in simple, plain clothes himself, believing that only foolish snobs cared for brand names and logos.

But he had wanted only the best for Harry and he felt compelled to explain to Ron.

"I'm sure you know, as I do, that clothing and brand names have nothing at all to do with a person's worth, and Harry knows that, too, of course," Severus began slowly. "But back at the beginning of the summer, when we learned that Harry would need to become my slave…when the shock had worn off and he had begun to think about all the ramifications…well, it was a very difficult time for Harry and he fell into a deep depression."

"And we weren't there for him," Ron said with bitter self-recrimination.

Severus shook his head. "Only because you didn't know about the spell, Ron, and you didn't know because Harry refused to tell anyone."

"I still can't believe he was afraid to tell _us_, though." Ron's face was filled with sadness and pain.

"I'm afraid I wasn't there for him either, in the beginning." Severus shared Ron's guilt and sorrow. "I was still operating under my old delusions and I was…harsh."

He drew in a long breath and forced those memories aside. "Fortunately I did realize my mistakes once we began spending some time together, and I had grown to care for Harry a great deal by the time we enacted the spell."

"But even so, it was a very bad time for him. Placing himself under that damned spell, having to become a slave, had such a terrible effect on him." Severus sighed.

"I am amazed and humbled by Harry's courage and generosity," he added softly.

"Harry is a really special person," Ron said quietly.

"Yes," Severus nodded. "And I have tried to tell him so, but to no avail. Especially in those first weeks, he was in such despair and he felt that he was inferior and…and worthless." Severus was surprised at how upset he suddenly felt for Harry's sake.

He swallowed hard. "He even said once that he was nothing, less than a person. I tried…God help me, I tried to tell him, to make him see what a wonderful person he was. But now I realize that I didn't do enough. I thought he was better. I thought he was feeling better about himself and about life, but I was wrong."

Severus ran his hand roughly through his hair and bowed his head. It was a long moment before he could go on.

"Actually, once I learned about those cursed Dursleys and how they treated him, I realized that Harry had probably suffered from self-esteem issues all his life. And making him wear those filthy castoffs from his cousin…well, even though we all know that in the grand scheme of things a logo on a shirt means nothing, I wanted Harry to have nice clothes, the best. Not because the clothes themselves are important, but because I wanted him to know that I cared enough to give him something nice."

Severus finished with a small shrug and he looked over to see Ron watching him, his face filled with emotion.

Ron had to swallow, too, before he could speak. "Severus, I agreed with Hermione when she said that you were good with Harry, but we didn't know how good you are with him."

Severus glanced over to where Harry lay. "Oh yes, I'm so good with him that he attempted suicide and lies there practically in a vegetative state, and I have no idea how to help him." He stopped abruptly before his voice broke.

"It isn't your fault," Ron repeated firmly. "And we'll find a way to help Harry. Let's start by getting him dressed. I think that was a good idea."

But just then Hermione came back into the infirmary.

They explained the situation to her…she agreed that getting Harry dressed and out of bed was an excellent first step…and then Ron suggested, "Well, why don't Mione and I go down to the Hall for breakfast while you take care of Harry? Unless you need me to help, sir?"

Severus shook his head. "Thank you, but Harry and I will be fine."

"And then we could sit with Harry if you want to go down to eat, too," Hermione offered.

"I prefer to eat up here, but thank you as well," Severus responded.

Once they'd left, he eased Harry into a sitting position, propped on pillows, and slipped him out of his pyjamas and into proper clothes…the shirt, blue jeans, socks, and trainers. He summoned a brush and attempted, in vain, to smooth the boy's unruly hair.

"Ah, well, it suits you like this anyway," Severus assured Harry. He performed a dental charm and finally reached for the child's spectacles, sliding them on with a deft touch.

"There now, that's better, isn't it?" He murmured as he sat down on the bed beside Harry, facing him and trying to imagine that there was a spark of interest in the boy's eyes instead of the blank emptiness.

"We're going home today so no more lounging about in bed. There are so many things we can do now, Harry, all the things you've never been able to do before. We can go out to the theatre and museums and restaurants. We can go to Quidditch matches if you want. We'll go to all the Chudley Cannons' games and we can even travel and see the national team. We can go anywhere. We can travel and see the world. We can fix up Grimmauld Place and live in London, or buy a house out in the countryside somewhere. Or we can stay here at Hogwarts if you prefer. We'll do whatever you want."

Severus reached for Harry's hands, holding them gently in his own. "Life can be good, Harry. It can be, I promise. Just please…give it a chance. Give me a chance. Please."

But Harry didn't seem to see or hear him and after a moment, Severus had to admit that he wasn't going to respond. Severus tried to hide his disappointment and leaned over to kiss Harry's forehead before standing and saying briskly, "I'll call Poppy and tell her we're ready to leave then."

A few minutes later it was all settled. Since Harry obviously was not going to walk on his own, Severus lifted him in his arms as carefully and tenderly as if the child were made of spun glass. He asked Poppy to inform Ron and Hermione that he and Harry were back in their own rooms and that they should come there once they had finished breakfast.

Then he stepped into the infirmary's fireplace, cradling Harry close to his chest. Severus called out his destination as Poppy tossed a handful of Floo powder into the grate and emerald flames flared high about them.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

But Harry didn't get any better once they were back at home either.

For the next week Severus neglected his preparations for the imminently approaching school year and continued to devote himself to Harry day and night. Of course he had been teaching more than fifteen years now so he knew the routines and the lessons he taught at the beginning of the term, but there were countless other little details that normally took up much of his time…taking inventory of ingredients, attending staff meetings, brewing medicinal potions for the infirmary.

None of that seemed to matter at all now though.

In the mornings he bathed and dressed Harry for the day and then took him out to the parlour. Poppy had brought a wheelchair down to their dungeon rooms the day after they'd left the infirmary. Severus hated it…hated the open acknowledgment of Harry's catatonic state and the foreboding sense that he might have a long recovery that the wheelchair seemed to represent…but as Harry would not walk on his own the only other choices were for Severus to carry him in his arms or levitate him. Severus reluctantly had to admit that the wheelchair was more practical.

Ron and Hermione continued to practically live with them and Harry's two friends usually arrived soon after breakfast and stayed long into the evening.

Ron and Severus played chess, though they both would have been disgraced by their tactics at any other time. But then neither of them made any pretense of truly concentrating on the game. They simply played to pass the time and in the vain hope that they might interest Harry in their matches. They wheeled his chair beside the board and spoke to him often while they played, trying to elicit some comment or advice, to no avail.

Hermione brought books, of course, and sometimes she would read a passage aloud or tell them about something interesting she had learned. But Harry never seemed to hear her either.

The sky was cloudy, but it didn't rain and it was warm so they went outside for a couple of hours after lunch, wheeling Harry around the lake and down to the Quidditch pitch.

"You've got to get better, mate, so we can play again." Ron told him. "Fred and George and some of the others have started an amateur league. They meet a couple times a month on the weekends. It's pretty informal, but it's a lot of fun. You'd love it."

Severus and Hermione tried to tempt Harry out of his depression by telling him again about all the interesting sights they could see and things they could do now that the war was over and it was safe for them to go about. Hermione in particular had done a fair bit of traveling with her parents and she had many photographs and tales to tell about it all.

Albus and Poppy came every day to check on Harry and to visit with him, or attempt to visit with him at least. Minerva McGonagall, Filius Flitwick, and Pomona Sprout came to see Harry, too. They tried to hide it, but Severus could tell they were shaken by the boy's condition.

They questioned Severus anxiously, but they didn't know about the slavery spell so Severus couldn't tell them very much, even if he had been so inclined. It occurred to him that at one time, not very long ago, he would have bristled at their perceived interference, but now he recognised that they were simply concerned for Harry. In any case, he didn't have the energy to be indignant or angry about anything these days. He was too worried about Harry, too focused on caring for him to fret over anything else.

Hagrid demanded to see Harry too, so Severus, Ron, and Hermione went by the groundskeeper's cottage during their afternoon walks. But Severus wouldn't call those visits a success. Hagrid was so distressed that he sobbed aloud and Harry remained locked away in his own mind, far away and lost from everyone.

By the end of the week Severus was coming to terms with the fact that he had some difficult decisions to make and that he would have to make them soon. It was the end of August. The new school year would begin in a few days and there was no way that Severus was going to leave Harry's side for hours at a time to teach class and to run Slytherin House. Even if Ron and Hermione stayed with Harry…and they couldn't just put their own lives on hold forever…Severus wasn't willing to do that. Harry needed him and Severus was going to be there for him.

Harry was his top priority now, his child, and Severus would do whatever was necessary to help him.

And actually, those decisions weren't so difficult after all.

He discussed his plans with Ron and Hermione first, one evening after dinner when he'd mixed a sleeping potion along with Harry's nutritive one. Sure enough, a few minutes after he'd spelled it into Harry's system, the boy's eyes closed and soon after his breathing slowed slightly and deepened, and his head bowed against his chest as he fell into a deep sleep.

Ron and Hermione noticed at once. They all kept a close watch over Harry.

"Well, I suppose we ought to be going," Hermione said and she and Ron stood up from the table in the little dining alcove.

But Severus held out a hand to stop them. "Actually, if you don't mind, I need to discuss something with you; something that I hope will help Harry."

"Of course." Hermione and Ron spoke together.

"Let me get him settled first." Severus also stood and moved behind the wheelchair. "Then we can talk in the parlour."

So he took Harry back to his bedroom, transfigured his clothes into pyjamas and tucked him into bed. Then Severus re-joined the other two. Ron and Hermione were sitting side by side on the sofa so Severus sat down in an armchair facing them.

"As you know, September is almost here and obviously I will need to make some changes before school begins. I've been giving the matter some thought this past week and I believe I've come to a decision, but I would like to know what you think, considering that the two of you know Harry better than I do still." Severus told them his plans, laid some advertisements and brochures on the table for them to examine, and then sat back, watching for their reactions.

Neither Ron nor Hermione spoke for a while. Instead they both looked through the papers silently as they considered Severus' words.

Finally Ron nodded. "I think it's worth a try."

"Yes, me, too," Hermione agreed. "But that's an awful lot to try to do over the next few days. If you're planning to have it all done by the time term begins, that is."

Severus sighed. "I would prefer to have everything wrapped up by then if possible, and yes, it is a lot to do. And I cannot leave Harry, at least not for very long." He eyed the two teenagers before him. "I would need your help," he said tentatively.

They nodded right away.

"Of course," Hermione said.

Ron added, "I bet the rest of my family would be glad to help, too. They're all worried sick about Harry. Anything that might help him get better…well, they'll do anything they can." He leaned over the table again, rifling through the papers. "Percy's a sucker for paperwork and details. I'm sure he'd be a big help."

Hermione picked up some of the brochures and booklets again. "Do you have a favourite place picked out already, Severus? We'll need to narrow the choices down before we do anything else."

Severus found one paper in particular and handed it to her. "This one."

Ron whistled low under his breath and spoke in an awed tone. "Nice. Very nice."

"And very expensive," Hermione added. She glanced at Severus and said hesitantly, "I know it's not polite to mention money, but…"

Severus waved his hand. "I believe we're beyond the constraints of polite convention. But do not worry, Hermione. I will manage the money."

Ron looked up. "What about Dumbledore? Have you told him?"

"Not yet, and I should have," Severus admitted. "I will speak with him tomorrow."

"How do you think he'll take it?" The red-haired boy asked curiously.

Severus shrugged. "I doubt he'll be pleased, but that's the least of my concerns."

"We'll need a reliable barrister," Hermione said, frowning. Severus could almost see her mentally composing a checklist.

"I have one in mind. Mr. Cyrus Oldridge of Oldridge, Chauncey, and Wildsmith. He is an expert in international real estate legalities," Severus told her.

"It's short notice. He'll charge an outrageous fee, if he even agrees to represent you," Hermione pointed out.

Severus nodded. "I have already contacted him and he is willing. He is a Muggle-born and happens to consider it an honour to aid Harry. Though, yes, he did require an exorbitant amount of money, nonetheless."

They continued their discussion for another hour before Ron and Hermione Flooed back to their respective homes.

Albus had been coming down in the late afternoons, but that morning Severus contacted him immediately after breakfast and asked him to come down as soon as possible. A few minutes later the Floo flared and the headmaster's face floated above the flames.

"Severus? Is there an emergency?"

Severus had planned everything with Ron and Hermione and they had already taken Harry out for a walk so he was alone, sitting on the sofa and filling out some of the paperwork that Mr. Oldridge had sent with the morning post.

He looked up at Albus' anxious face and said reassuringly. "It's not a matter of life and death, but there is an important issue that we need to discuss."

"I'm due at a staff meeting in five minutes. Can't it wait?" The headmaster inquired.

"I don't think so," Severus shook his head.

Albus sighed. "Very well. Just let me notify Minerva to act in my stead and I'll be right there."

Severus set his paperwork aside and when Albus stepped from the fireplace a short time later, he gestured for the old wizard to take a seat in an armchair.

"Thank you for meeting with me, Albus, and I do apologise for my poor timing. I should have spoken with you earlier in the week, but I only made up my mind for certain yesterday."

Albus waved a hand. "It's quite all right. I understand that you've had a lot on your mind lately." He glanced around. "Where is Harry, by the way? Is there any change in his condition?"

"No, I'm afraid not," Severus said quietly. "And Ron and Hermione have taken him outside for a little while."

"Good, perhaps the fresh air will help," Albus said, though not very convincingly.

Severus shook his head again. "It has not helped yet. And that is really what I need to discuss with you, Albus. Harry's condition and school starting and…"

The headmaster broke in. "There's no need to say it, Severus. I've guessed that you will not want to leave Harry now, and I certainly can't blame you. I've already spoken with Professor Grubbly-Plank about teaching Potions for these first weeks, assuming that that is agreeable with you. As for the Slytherins, I will help you run the House until…"

It was Severus' turn to interrupt.

"I think we need more," he said bluntly, squarely meeting Albus' gaze. "I'm resigning, Albus. Harry and I are leaving Hogwarts."

Albus was not often caught off-guard. If circumstances had been different, Severus would have enjoyed the dumbfounded expression on his old mentor's face.

"Leaving Hogwarts?" Albus sputtered after a long silence. "You can't be serious. Hogwarts is your home. And Harry's. What will he do away from here, away from the people who care for him?"

Several snide comments came to Severus' mind, but it was not the right moment for antagonizing Albus, not when he planned to ask for the headmaster's assistance in a few minutes. It might not be completely appropriate either. Albus did care for Harry, for them both; despite the fact that he had used and manipulated them, most damagingly with the slavery spell.

And yet, to be perfectly fair, had he had much of a choice? Voldemort had had to be defeated. They couldn't have allowed the dark wizard to win, even if the slavery spell was the price of victory.

But what was done was done. There was no point in dwelling on the past now. But Severus did have to do what he thought would be best for Harry now.

Severus sighed. "It might not be a permanent move. But Harry is not getting any better here. I thought perhaps a change, a new environment, might help him." His calm façade slipped and he could not mask the deep worry beneath. "I don't know what else to do, Albus."

The headmaster drew a deep breath and composed himself. "Are you sure, Severus? This is a big step."

Severus spread his hands and looked at Albus with a mixture of sorrow and frustration. "No, I'm not sure. I don't know how to reach Harry and it's driving me insane. I can't bear seeing him like this, knowing that he's so unhappy. But he did mention once that he would like to see a beach, to live near the sea."

"And Hogwarts has been our home, but to be honest, Albus, that's because neither of us has ever had any other place where we felt welcome and comfortable," Severus continued. "And a school, a place that you share with hundreds of other people, is not the same as a true home. I want to give Harry a real home, one of our own."

Albus was silent again for a long while. He bowed his head, studying his clasped hands thoughtfully before finally looking back up. "So will you be moving south, to England or will any coastal area in Britain do?"

"Here. This is the home I plan to buy." Severus handed him the same advertisement he had shown Ron and Hermione.

Albus took it, looked at it, and his eyebrows shot up. "But this is a…"

"A villa on a private Unplottable island in the Aegean Sea," Severus finished for him. "I've considered many places the last few nights while Harry was sleeping and this one is perfect. There are miles of beaches, beautiful gardens, a big field where we could put up a Quidditch pitch, and it's fully furnished so we could move in immediately."

"It's so far away," Albus murmured.

"Only a couple of minutes by Floo or portkey," Severus responded. Apparition would be even quicker, but he intended to put up protective wards as soon as possible, including anti-Apparition spells, both for privacy and for safety's sake.

"It's also rather expensive. You did notice that the price is 3.5 million galleons?" Albus inquired.

"Yes, Albus. I have been literate for some years now," Severus answered dryly.

"Well, I suppose with the Potter and Black gold that 3.5 million galleons isn't so much," Albus mused.

But Severus promptly shook his head. "No. I'm not touching that money. It may be mine legally, but it is rightfully Harry's. I promised him that money is for him to spend as he wishes. I would feel like a thief if I spent any of it."

"How do you plan to purchase the villa then?" Albus asked.

Though he did not have the kind of wealth that the Potters and the Blacks had had, Severus' vault at Gringotts was comfortably full. Professors in the wizarding world were highly respected and earned a good salary. Besides that, Severus had also turned a nice profit by filling potions orders on the side and until this past summer when Harry had become his responsibility, he had been extremely frugal. He had always lived simply and had never had anyone else to spend the money on.

Nonetheless, buying his own private island with a beautiful villa was a little beyond his means. Possibly Severus could have managed to borrow the money with his excellent financial history and his reputation as a Potions Master. But it would take time and would leave him indebted, likely for years to come. Severus had a better idea.

"I plan for the Ministry to give it to Harry as a gift."

For the second time in an hour Albus could only stare at him in speechless amazement.

Severus continued on firmly. "Of course all the deeds will have to be in my name and I'm not sure how to explain that necessity, but I have every confidence in you, Albus. With your shrewdness and intelligence, I'm sure you can find a way to finagle it."

Albus began to sputter again but Severus just held up a hand to stall him.

"Albus, the wizarding world owes this to Harry. _We_ owe it to Harry. You and I, and all of us. If Harry had not defeated Voldemort, what would the cost of the war be…in damages and in human life? How much suffering and grief would there be? Think of that and then think of the sacrifice that Harry made to save all of us. Then can you tell me that he doesn't deserve to have a beautiful home in privacy and safety?"

"Well, of course he deserves that, and so do you," Albus agreed at once. He looked back at the photographs of the villa. "But this is so extravagant."

Severus' black eyes glittered dangerously. "Harry deserves more and better."

Albus was still for a moment and when he looked up again his face was filled with both sadness and resolve. "Yes, Severus. You're right. He does."

He gestured towards a photograph. "If the two of you go off to this island though, what about Harry's friends? He needs them, too, Severus."

"I know that. I have no intention of taking Harry's friends from him. Ron and Hermione are going to stay with us on the weekends. And I imagine we'll come back to visit from time to time," Severus responded. He hesitated. "I realise that I'm asking a great deal from you, Albus, but if Harry should want to return to Hogwarts…"

"Harry is always welcome here, and so are you, Severus," Albus responded at once. He stood. "Well, if I'm going to convince the Ministry to part with several million galleons, as well as begin searching for a new Potions professor, I suppose I'd better be off then."

Severus stood too. "Thank you, Albus. And if you could possibly manage it, I'd like for us to be settled in the villa by the time school starts."


	5. Chapter 5

Author's Notes: Thank you all so much for your reviews! I noticed that some readers had questions about this story and realized that I was not very clear at the beginning so maybe this will help.

this plot bunny partly sprung from SC. I had been wondering about some alternative scenarios there, and also from "Christmas at Spinner's End", such as 'what if Harry hadn't been so easily roused from his catatonic state of grief?"

But I have made some significant changes from "Slave Child" so this story really isn't a SC alternate universe, but a story in its own right. For one thing, Harry and his friends are older. This story begins during the summer after they would have left school. That being said, I am going to write them, especially Harry, as less independent than most young adults are that age. I really like Harry and his friends as kids, but I didn't want school and lessons to get in the way of moving to the villa. And since wizards live longer than Muggles, why can't the kids have an extended childhood and adolescence? Yeah, I know that's not canon, but this is an AU story anyway.

A couple of other things that might help:

It is the end of summer, after Harry, Ron, and Hermione completed their seventh-year. Events through OotP happened as in canon. HBP and DH did not happen. The last two years are vague here.

Harry is under a slavery spell, as in "Slave Child", but this time it was not an accident. It was somehow necessary for him to defeat Voldemort (But I'm going to leave the details of how that worked up to you).

Harry has very recently killed Voldemort. Severus almost died in the battle too, but was resuscitated. Harry and Severus have already grown close.

Chapter 5

Severus never did know exactly how Albus managed it, but on August 31st, as breakfast was ending, the headmaster Flooed down to their rooms in the dungeons and presented him with neatly folded scrolls of parchment tied with a golden ribbon.

"The deeds to both the island and the villa," Albus told him quietly. He handed Severus a quill as well. "This is a portkey to the villa. Just cast an activation spell when you're ready."

Severus took them solemnly. "Thank you, Albus."

It was all he said, but he was truly grateful and his old mentor seemed to understand. Albus nodded and replied softly, "I will miss you, Severus, both you and Harry."

He hesitated and said even more softly, "I know our relationship did not begin well. I failed you in many ways, just as I did with Harry. But Severus, over the years I have come to care for you a great deal. You and Harry…you're the ones I care for the most, and yet you're also the ones I have hurt the most. For the past week, ever since Harry's suicide attempt, I have questioned all the decisions I have ever made in regards to the two of you and thought of all the things I could have done differently. I do apologize for my mistakes."

Severus nodded and repeated. "Thank you, Albus. That does mean a great deal to me." He paused, but it was only fair to continue. "And Albus, while I do wish certain things had been done differently, many things in fact, I also understand that some of the circumstances were unavoidable. Victory over Voldemort had to be your top priority. While I disagree with some of your decisions, I do believe that you always tried to do the best that you could."

"I did, Severus, but I know that I made many mistakes as well," Albus answered. He looked beyond Severus then, to where Harry sat in his wheelchair, still at the dining table where the Potions Master had been finishing breakfast. Even though Harry only took nutritive potions, Severus always included him in meals, pushing the chair up to the table and talking with him while he himself ate.

For as long as Severus had known him, Albus had had silvery-white hair, a long beard, and a lined face, but somehow, despite that, he had never seemed old. He had had always had a vitality and power that gave him an air of strength.

But now as he watched Harry sitting slumped in his catatonic state, the headmaster seemed unbearably ancient and sorrowful. He crossed the room and knelt before the wheelchair.

"Harry," Albus' voice was very gentle and laden with sadness. "Harry, child, I am so sorry for the pain I have caused you, and I thank you for your brave sacrifice. I hope that you will recover and find happiness at your new home. But if you should ever wish to return, know that you and Severus are always welcome at Hogwarts."

Albus studied Harry's face carefully, but the boy's expression remained blank and unaware. Albus sighed heavily, patted Harry's knee, and stood.

He walked slowly back over to Severus. "When will you leave?"

"Today." Severus gestured to the side, where boxes lined the walls. "I've already packed most of our things."

"So soon?"

Severus nodded. "You know that I'm hoping the change of scenery and having a real home of our own will help Harry to come out of this state he's in. I want us to get settled into the villa as soon as possible."

Albus looked at him unhappily. "Severus, I wanted to help you move, but I have spent so much time at the Ministry the past days convincing them to reward Harry with this estate, that I have neglected my duties as headmaster. With the term about to begin, I simply cannot leave right now. If you could wait a couple of days, until classes begin, then perhaps…"

"It's all right, Albus," Severus interrupted. "Ron, Hermione, and the other Weasleys are going to help us. I only have to contact them and let them know that everything is ready. Harry and I really don't have _that_ many personal possessions and with the villa already furnished, moving shouldn't be too terribly onerous a chore."

Speaking of possessions reminded Severus of something. He considered certain objects as Harry's…things that had formerly belonged to the boy and things that Severus had bought for him…but technically they were all truly Severus' belongings. When it came down to tracing legal ownership, everything had to be in Severus' name.

He looked down at the parchments he was still holding in his hand and spoke in a low voice. Harry knew all the conditions of the spell, of course, but it was hurtful to him so Severus didn't want him to overhear. He didn't know even if Harry was aware of what was going on around him, but Severus had decided to believe that he was and to act accordingly. "Albus, you said the Ministry was rewarding Harry, as well they should, but the estate cannot actually be under Harry's name. The spell will punish him."

"Yes, I know," Albus agreed, also speaking very quietly. "The deeds are in your name. I did the paperwork myself, but in the interests of secrecy, I did cast a charm over the papers, a clever little optical illusion that makes anyone who might see them believe they are reading Harry's name instead."

Albus took his wand and pointed it first at Severus and then at Harry, moving it in a complicated series of flourishes. "There, the two of you will be able to see the deeds as they truly are, but no one else."

Severus arched an eyebrow. "That is rather clever, Albus."

"Thank you, I do try." Albus' smile faded and he held out his hand. "I hope that you will not cut all ties to me, Severus. I am very concerned for the both of you."

Severus reached to return the handshake and was surprised to find a lump in his throat. He was not the maudlin type and though he had grown fond of Albus, he had not expected to become emotional over their departure.

He cleared his throat and said gruffly, "I'm sure we'll be back to visit, at the very least. I will contact you once we're settled. Thank you for all your help, Albus."

"I know there's no need to tell you to take good care of Harry. Farewell then, Severus." And with a whirl of his spangled robes, the headmaster stepped into the fireplace and vanished in a rush of emerald flames.

Severus looked after him for a moment before turning and making his way back over to Harry. He laid the scrolls on the table and then he too knelt before the wheelchair so that he would be on Harry's level and reached to take the child's hands in his own.

"Well, Harry, what do you think? Are you ready to see our new home? I showed you the photographs yesterday, remember? Albus has managed to work everything out and it's ours now. It's a beautiful place. I think we can be happy there." He hesitated before saying softly, "Harry…please try."

He gave Harry's hands a light squeeze and then went to the fireplace to call the Burrow. A few minutes later Ron, Hermione, Arthur Weasley and the twins had come through, piling out of the grate one after another like clowns in a tiny car that Severus had seen once in a childhood outing to a circus, one of the few treats he'd had as a small boy.

Severus greeted them stiffly. He was at ease with Ron and Hermione now, indeed he was even growing fond of them, as surreal as that seemed at times, but he was still uncomfortable around the other Weasleys. Fortunately, after speaking to him, the youngsters all hurried over to Harry. Fred and George Weasley had not seen Harry lately and they seemed shaken at his condition, becoming unusually sober and concerned as they spoke to him.

Arthur Weasley watched sadly. "Ron had told us about Harry, of course, but I just can't believe…" his voice trailed off and he blinked hard before turning back to Severus and saying briskly. "Molly and Ginny had planned to come as well, but then Ginny came down with a stomach virus and she isn't feeling well yet. Molly decided she'd better stay at home to watch over her, but the rest of us are here. What do you need us to do first, Severus?"

Then there was a great hustle and bustle as they cast shrinking and feather-light charms on all the boxes and packed them in trunks. They did a check through all the rooms to be certain nothing was being left behind and then it was time to leave.

Severus paused to let his gaze sweep around the dungeon rooms. They had been his home since he'd been twenty-one, and the castle itself had been his home since he'd been eleven. He was thirty-eight years old now and he had spent the greater part of his life at Hogwarts.

He could scarcely believe that he was about to leave, probably forever.

He had not always been happy here, but he still felt an almost overpowering sense of melancholy and longing that surprised him as much as the lump in his throat had earlier when he had bid Albus farewell. Such sentimentality was simply not like him. But then his life had changed so drastically over the past couple of months. He was free of Voldemort. He had retired from teaching. He was becoming amiable with Gryffindors. Most of all, he had Harry now, and he had to help the boy heal from the devastating blow of the slavery spell. Perhaps it was not surprising that Severus should feel a little unsettled by it all.

He looked over at Harry then and his melancholy vanished. Yes, the changes in his life were drastic, but they were all for the good. And he would do anything for Harry. He had never before cared for anyone as he did for the slight, dark-haired child that had been thrust into his life. Never before had he felt such love, such fierce protectiveness and tender compassion. He had never even imagined feeling these emotions for another person. It had changed him from an aloof bitter cynic into…well, Severus wasn't sure what type of person he was becoming and sometimes it frightened him. Sometimes, oftentimes, it actually _hurt_ to love Harry as much as he did.

But Severus would not have changed it for the world.

He would have changed the slavery spell though. Severus wished with all his heart that Harry could have come into his care in some other way, so that he could be happy too.

But then that was what this whole move was about…helping Harry to recover and to be happy again.

Severus became aware that the Weasleys and Hermione were all standing by the table close to the quill, waiting for him and Harry to join them. The trunks and boxes had all been shrunk and placed into people's pockets. There was nothing left to do now except to activate the portkey.

It was time to leave.

No, Severus corrected himself, it was time to begin. He just hoped that he was doing the right thing and that their new life would be a happier one than they were leaving behind.

He wheeled Harry's chair over to the little group and then waved his wand over the quill. It promptly began to glow with a soft blue light. Severus slipped his wand into his sleeve and with one hand reached to grip the handle of Harry's chair. With his free hand he reached to touch the quill at the same instant as the others did. He felt the sharp tug of the portkey and then a brief falling sensation.

Then Severus was standing in the entrance hall of the villa, his hand still clamped around the wheelchair handle. Immediately he checked to be certain that Harry had come through portkey travel all right. He had, but the boy's withdrawal was as complete as ever; he didn't even glance around at their new surroundings.

But he was the only one not awe-struck. The Weasleys and Hermione were gazing about in wonder and even Severus, though he was not usually impressed by material objects and he was deeply concerned for Harry, had to admire the setting.

The entrance hall was vast, wide and long and running the length of the house. The marble floor was in a black and white diamond pattern and an elegant curved staircase at the rear of the hall rose to the second floor. Pale marble columns flanked arched doorways leading to spacious rooms. A round table carved of dark wood stood in the center with a tall crystal vase filled with snow-white roses atop it. The corners of the hall were rounded in an oval-shape and contained inlaid carved niches with marble busts of famous wizards.

The front rooms on both sides of the hall were formal parlours and the other ground floor rooms were a library, a dining room, a smaller less formal sitting room, and a conservatory that was filled with vases and pots of fragrant, flowering plants. Severus couldn't help but cast an appraising eye over them, wondering if any would be suitable for harvesting as potions ingredients.

Every room was breathtaking, grand and yet somehow comfortable and welcoming too. They were decorated in light colours…ivory, cream, and palest gold with touches of slate blue, pearly-grey, and soft olive green. The furniture was an eclectic, but charming blend of gleaming antiques and comfortable, over-stuffed sofas and chairs. Landscape paintings, gilt-framed mirrors, and faded tapestries lined the walls.

But as lovely as the interior was, it couldn't compete with the scenes outside the wide windows. After Severus had wheeled Harry through the downstairs rooms, followed in silent admiration by the Weasleys and Hermione, none of them could resist stepping outside onto the front terrace. For long moments they all stood gazing in wonder at the beauty of late summer on a Mediterrannean island.

The stone terrace was wide and vines of jasmine and honeysuckle twined around the balustrade. The villa was constructed of sand-coloured stucco with alabaster quoins on its corners, a silvery-tiled roof, and loggias running around the upper story so that its occupants could sit outside and enjoy the mild climate and stunning views.

Steps from the stone terrace led to a path of crushed shells that divided the emerald lawn in half. A couple of palm trees stood on the lawn, waving great leafy fronds in the light breeze. The shell path led to a distant beach of white sand and beyond that lay the deep sapphire sea. It was warmer here than in Britain, but a constant cool breeze blew in from the waters, keeping it from being truly hot.

Fred Weasley broke the silence. "Hey, Professor, are you sure you don't want all of us to move in with you?"

Severus raised an eyebrow, but said, "Of course we will arrange for you all to visit. I know that Harry is close to you."

It was perhaps not the most gracious welcoming speech, but then Severus was very unaccustomed to all this and he felt that he was doing the best that he could.

"Well, let's see about getting things unpacked, shall we?" Arthur Weasley suggested.

They went back inside and were heading for the stairs when there was a sudden sharp _crack_ and suddenly a small house elf stood before them.

Severus automatically had his wand in hand, flinging himself in front of Harry and pointing it at the intruder before he realized that he recognized the elf.

"Dobby!" Hermione and Ron exclaimed together.

"What are you doing here?" Ron continued.

The little elf was clad in his usual odd assortment of clothing, a tiny jumper and pair of trousers, mismatched socks and a striped hat on his head. He was practically jumping up and down with excitement.

"Master Professor Dumbledore asked Dobby if he would like to go to live with Harry Potter and Master Snape and take care of them. Of course Dobby said yes! Harry Potter is a very great wizard and Dobby is always eager to help him. And Master Snape too, of course." Dobby bowed to Severus, his pointed ears quivering.

"Dobby is hoping that it is all right?" The elf looked so anxiously at Severus that even he didn't have the heart to refuse, though he did make a mental note to put up those anti-Apparition wards as soon as possible.

Still, it would be handy to have a house elf and though his effervescence could be annoying, Dobby was unquestioningly loyal to Harry. Severus willed his heart to stop racing as he put his wand away and gave Dobby a curt nod. "Very well, then."

They spent the rest of the day unpacking and putting items away, pausing to eat sandwiches for lunch at noon, though of course Severus had to spell a potion into Harry.

Upstairs there were six bedrooms, each with a small sitting area and its own bath. Like the rooms below, they were decorated in pale colours with blues, greys, and greens. Severus chose two adjoining rooms at the front of the house for himself and for Harry. There were huge beds with handsome carved headboards. There were small sofas and chairs and tall wardrobes for their clothes. Thick rugs covered the hardwood floors and windows overlooked the beach outside. Severus nodded, pleased with his choices.

Then he glanced over to Ron and Hermione. "As you two are going to be here on the weekends, you need to choose rooms for yourselves, too."

They selected bedrooms at the back of the house, their windows providing a view of the formal gardens laid out behind the villa and of the field beyond.

That left two bedrooms and Severus had supposed that Dobby would have one and that they would use the other for a spare room just in case they ever had overnight company besides Ron and Hermione. But Severus had reckoned without Dobby.

The elf flatly refused to claim one of the bedrooms for himself.

"That wouldn't be right, Master Professor! House elves do not need such large fine rooms. Dobby would be embarrassed to sleep in such a grand room," he declared.

"Where are you planning to sleep then?" Severus inquired wearily.

Dobby hesitated. "Well, sir, there must be a cupboard or cabinet in the kitchen…"

"No," Severus interrupted firmly. "No one in this house will ever sleep in a cupboard. Harry would not want that." He paused. "I would not want that either."

Severus had to admit that before this past summer he had never given much thought to the morality of house elves being slaves and treated as property. He himself had never owned a house elf, had never wanted anyone to be a slave, but he had never lost any sleep over the practice either. It was simply the way things were. And he'd reasoned, most house elves were quite content with their lot and devoted to their families. A few, such as Dobby, had the misfortune to be bound to abusive owners like Lucius Malfoy, but most wizarding families were fond of their elves and treated them well.

Like most wizards, Severus had always accepted it as a part of magical culture and had concerned himself with other, more pressing matters.

But then Harry had had to become his slave, and seeing how much the child had suffered had affected Severus deeply as well. He had begun to question things he never had before.

But at least Dobby was free and he was there because he wanted to be. But he would not sleep in a cupboard or a cabinet.

Severus became aware that the Weasleys and Hermione were watching though, and he was not going to argue the matter before them.

"Let's see what is available on the lower level, why don't we?" Severus suggested. He took the handles of Harry's chair, levitating it down the stairs to the entrance hall, and then to another flight in the small sitting room.

Like in many grand wizarding manors, there was a full floor below ground. The kitchen was situated under the dining room. House elves would prepare the food and then send it to rise upwards through the ceiling to appear on the dining table, just as at Hogwarts. Besides the kitchen, there were several pantries and storage rooms as well.

Dobby wanted to sleep in one of them, but Severus convinced him that he needed the space to set up his potions laboratory and storeroom…which was actually true, though it was also convenient for forcing the elf to accept a real bedroom.

"Dobby, you would be doing me a great favour if you would agree to sleep in one of bedrooms upstairs," Severus told him firmly.

Dobby looked at him with large shining eyes. "Well, if Master Snape is sure…"

And so that was settled.

The sun was low in the sky when they finished and for dinner, Dobby produced a picnic basket that the Hogwarts' elves had prepared for them, with cold roast chicken, egg salad, fruit, and butterbeer. They sat in the dining room to eat, even Dobby perched on a box by the wall though he would not join them at the table. Severus tried to tempt Harry to eat but as usual the boy was silent and far away.

It killed Severus' own appetite too, and he had to fight a sudden despair. He had hoped so desperately that coming here would be good for Harry, that it might jolt him out of his depressed withdrawn state, but Harry seemed completely unaffected. He didn't even seem to realize that they had left Hogwarts.

The nauseating metallic taste of fear filled Severus' mouth and he quietly laid his fork down and set his own plate aside. He had convinced himself that Harry knew what was going on, that he was really aware of things and was just too upset and unhappy to respond.

But what if Severus were wrong?

What if he couldn't reach Harry? What if the child were lost to him forever? How could he bear it, now that he knew how much he loved Harry? How could he bear to go on, alone again?

Severus glanced around at the others and saw fear and sorrow in their eyes, too. They had all tried to be cheerful and brisk today, but as he looked at Harry's closest friends, Severus knew that they were all deeply worried too.

Severus took a deep breath and tried to force his fear away. He would not give up. They had only just arrived at the villa. It was too soon to abandon hope.

Harry would come out of this depression and he and Severus would be happy.

Severus could not bear to think otherwise.


	6. Chapter 6

Author's Notes: This chapter contains a direct quote from "The Tales of Beedle the Bard" by J. K. Rowling.

Thank you, everyone! I hope you'll enjoy this chapter.

Chapter 6

After dinner the Weasleys and Hermione departed, bidding Severus and Harry farewell. Ron, Hermione, and the twins gathered close to Harry's wheelchair while Arthur stepped close to Severus.

"Severus, if there's anything that we can do to help you and Harry, please let us know," he said, his kindly face looking unusually worried and solemn as he watched the little group around Harry.

Severus nodded, "Thank you, Arthur, and for your help today."

The two men shook hands, Arthur went over to Harry to say good-bye, and then he and the twins left, Flooing back to the Burrow.

"Ron, Hermione, a moment please," Severus stopped the two younger teens from leaving. "I am going to put up protective wards surrounding the island this evening. I will put in a communication gateway so that people can send mail or firecall, but no one will be able to broach the wards in person. Therefore I need to know exactly what time you're planning to arrive on Friday so I can drop the wards long enough for you to come through."

"Will you have to do that every time we visit?" Ron asked.

"No," Severus and Hermione spoke at the same time and Hermione rushed on for a moment, saying, "I've been studying about them. Once the wards are established…"

She broke off abruptly, her cheeks pink with embarrassment. "Oh, I'm sorry. I was being a know-it-all again, wasn't I?"

"Hermione, you are an extremely intelligent young woman, and even more, you have an enthusiasm and a joy for learning. You share information not for the purpose of making yourself look good, but to help others and to share that joy. Those are admirable qualities. There is no need for you to be ashamed or apologetic," Severus paused. "Indeed, I owe you an apology for any comments I have made in the past that might have caused you to become self-conscious."

Hermione and Ron both stared at him in slack-jawed amazement. Despite the fact that they were on much better terms now than in the past, they were obviously surprised at Severus' contrition and praise.

Severus raised an eyebrow at them. "Well, Hermione, do you wish to finish explaining about protective wards or shall I?"

Hermione turned to Ron. "Once the wards are established, Severus can lead us through a spell that will enable them to absorb our magical signatures. After that we can enter and leave through them. But the wards must be in place first."

"Yes, and warding a site as large as the island might take some time," Severus added. "It will be quicker and easier for you if we add your signatures on the weekend after the wards are already up."

Ron and Hermione quickly conferred and decided that they would arrive at four o'clock Friday afternoon.

Severus nodded. "Very well. I will have the wards down a few minutes before four. Harry and I will see you then."

Ron and Hermione shook his hand, knelt to give Harry one more hug and left, Flooing back to their respective homes from the dining room fireplace.

"Hermione must have arranged to have her parents' house connected to the Floo network. Didn't you tell me that she was living with them again this year, Harry?" Severus remarked as he stepped close to Harry's wheelchair again.

He crouched beside Harry and added quietly, "Don't worry. They'll return on Friday. That's only a few days from now. In the meantime, would you like to watch while I establish the wards?"

Severus stood and glanced over to where Dobby hovered in the dining room doorway. "Dobby, would you be good enough to take care of the mess in here?"

"Of course, Master Snape. Is there anything else you or Master Harry need?" The elf immediately replied.

"I think that will be all," Severus answered. "I'm going to set up protective wards and then Harry and I will retire for the evening."

He left the little elf and levitated Harry's chair back upstairs, wheeling him into the bedroom that Severus had chosen for him.

"This is your room, Harry. What do you think?" Severus waited a second, just as if the boy would respond. He gestured towards where Harry's trunk rested at the foot of the bed. "We've unpacked most of your things. Of course you're welcome to rearrange items if you wish."

After a moment Severus drew his wand and straightened. "All right then. I'm going put up the wards so we won't have to worry about having any unexpected guests."

Severus spent the better part of the next hour setting the wards. The spells were complex and draining and by the time he was finished, Severus was exhausted. But the magic surrounding the island was strong and he was satisfied that he and Harry were well-protected. It was most likely a needless precaution now that Voldemort was dead and most of the Death Eaters had been killed or captured, but Severus just felt better knowing that the wards were in place.

"We'll add your magical signature to them as well, once you're able," Severus told Harry.

He hesitated. He was tired, but it was rather early for bed. Then he happened to look at the window, to the loggia just beyond. "Shall we go and sit outside for a while, Harry?"

A moment later they were on the outside gallery. Comfortable wicker furniture covered with plump colorful cushions stood there. One piece was a sort of enlarged rocking chair for two, a small sofa that could rock to and fro. Severus wheeled Harry over to it and carefully lifted him in his arms. He settled Harry onto the sofa and then sank down beside him, leaning back with a weary sigh.

Severus slid one arm around Harry's thin shoulders while his other arm circled about the boy's chest, pulling him even closer into a warm, secure embrace. Harry slumped against him. His head dropped to rest against Severus' shoulder, strands of his hair tickling Severus' chin. Severus reached with one hand and gently smoothed Harry's hair back from his forehead, then continued to lightly caress his fingers through the child's unruly mop as he slowly rocked them back and forth with one foot.

For a while Severus was quiet. The sun had already set. At the western edge of the horizon, golden streaks in the sky paid final homage to the sunset, fading to purple and then a deep dark blue. Stars twinkled like diamonds against a velvety background. The only sounds were the rhythmic creak of the wicker sofa, the rustle of palm leaves, and the distant murmur of the waves as they crashed onto the shore in their timeless dance of ebb and flow.

"Tomorrow we'll go down to the beach and see the ocean," Severus finally broke the silence, speaking in a low, soft tone. "You said once that you had been near the sea with those relatives, but that it was cold and stormy and you spent the whole time locked inside a hut. Well, everything is different here, Harry. I think you're going to like it."

Severus tilted his head to try to look into Harry's face. "I went to the seaside once, as a small child. Did I ever tell you about that? Probably not. I don't like to talk about my past. Most of it isn't worth talking about. My parents were bitter, unhappy people and I was often a target for their frustrations. But when I was small my grandmother lived with us, and she was different. She loved me."

"She tried to protect me and to bring some happiness into my life, as much as she could. And one summer, when my parents had gone away for a weekend, she took me to the seashore for a day. I never really thought much about it before, but she must have saved money for months beforehand, to have enough to buy the train tickets. Anyway, we went to the seaside and I played in the water and built a sand castle. I suppose it's difficult to imagine me doing something so frivolous, hmm? But I did. My grandmother and I walked along the shore and looked for seashells, and had a picnic lunch, and then we headed back to our miserable little hovel in town. She died when I was eight."

Severus took a deep breath. "I blame only myself for the poor choices I made in life, Harry. But I have sometimes wondered if things might have been different if my grandmother had lived longer."

He cleared his throat. "Ah, well, there's no use dwelling on it now." Severus looked down at the boy tucked against his side. "She used to tell me stories sometimes in the evenings before bed, fairy tales from Beedle the Bard. Has anyone ever told you those old tales, Harry? One of my favorites was 'The Fountain of Fair Fortune.' Let's see if I can remember it."

"High on a hill in an enchanted garden, enclosed by tall walls and protected by strong magic, flowed the Fountain of Fair Fortune…"

Severus held Harry in his arms and continued to lightly stroke his hair as he rocked them back and forth in the cool of the Mediterranean evening.

They did go down to the seashore the next day, but Harry did not pay it the slightest attention. Over the next few weeks, Severus found it more and more difficult to hold onto hope. He continued to care diligently for Harry, of course, and talked with him of the future, as if he fully expected Harry to come out of his catatonic state at any moment, but inside Severus' heart cold despair and grief were beginning to take root. Moving to the villa had not changed anything. Harry was still as unresponsive as a statue, locked away in his own mind and lost in his own desolation. Severus had no idea of how to reach him.

Ron and Hermione came every weekend, arriving on Friday afternoons and staying until Sunday evenings. Like Severus, they chatted with Harry as if he would join in and involved him in activities as much as possible. It was still warm enough to swim so they brought swimsuits and spent many hours on the beach.

Severus would change Harry into his swim trunks, perform sun-blocking charms over all of them, and then the four of them would go down to the seashore. Severus could not bring himself to wear a swimsuit, but he did exchange his customary dark robes for a white lightweight shirt and trousers. Ron and Hermione would sit right with Harry at the water's edge, letting the waves roll over their legs, telling him about Ron's everyday adventures working with the twins at their joke shop and about Hermione's studies and the projects she was working on.

Then Severus would lift Harry back into his chair and they would walk along the shore, sometimes talking and sometimes in silence, pausing to study pools of tidewater and the little sea creatures they found along the way.

"You've got to get better, Harry, so we can go flying, too," Ron remarked. "You've got that huge field behind the villa. It would be perfect for setting up a Quidditch pitch. And Fred and George want us to join their amateur team, too. I've got a Nimbus now, did I tell you? I broke down and bought it last week when Quality Quidditch Supplies had a sale. It's not a Firebolt, but it's a good broom."

Ron gazed at his friend sadly and finished in a low voice, "We'll have a lot of fun, Harry, when you're better. Come on, mate, please…"

But Harry didn't get better and they all were finding it more and more difficult to keep hoping. Not that anyone was willing to give up. They couldn't; they all loved Harry too much, but it was becoming harder to believe that Harry would come back to them.

It was a Wednesday evening when the idea occurred to Severus. He and Harry had been walking along the beach, or rather Severus had been walking and Harry had been sitting in his chair. Severus would levitate it to float an inch or so above ground and they would travel along the shore for an hour or more in the afternoons. Severus reflected dryly that he was probably more fit now than ever before in his life, with all the walking he did.

When they returned to the villa, Dobby met them in the entrance hall, gesturing to a small box wrapped in brown paper that rested on the round table.

"Oh, Master Snape, this package came while you were out. It is from Hogwarts, sir," the house elf told him.

"Thank you, Dobby," Severus said rather absent-mindedly as he picked it up and examined it. Nothing that might harm himself or Harry could come through the wards, and the handwritten address on the package was familiar.

Sure enough, when he'd unwrapped the paper to reveal a wooden box inside, a scroll of parchment fell out as well. It was a letter from Albus, explaining that he was sending them house-warming gifts, as well as an invitation to visit Hogwarts and have dinner with him. Inside the wooden box were four season passes to the Chudley Cannons Quidditch matches, presumably for Harry, and bottles of potions ingredients for Severus.

Severus lifted the bottles one by one and studied them appraisingly. It was a thoughtful gesture, although actually he had not worked on potions for some time, not since Harry had hurt himself and had been in his waking-coma state. Severus had not even wanted to brew anything since then. All of his time, energy, and devotion had gone to caring for Harry. Always before, brewing had been both his passion and a refuge from the burdens and pressures of life. But now, until Harry was well again, Severus just had no interest in it.

Well, he would keep these materials in one of the storage rooms downstairs and perhaps one day he would use them.

"Dobby, please take these bottles downstairs and put them in the back storage room. Make certain to keep the lids sealed; some of them contain highly toxic ingredients."

As Dobby hurried off, Severus wheeled Harry upstairs and out to the loggia for dinner. They ate most of their meals outside now, too, taking advantage of the beautiful weather. He spelled Harry's nutritive potion into the boy's system with a sigh.

"Harry, child, you need to start eating," he said softly. He motioned to the table where a bowl of salad, plates of crusty bread sticks and shrimp scampi, and a glass of red wine sat. "Wouldn't you rather have real food than potions at every meal?"

When Harry just sat there, Severus sighed again and sat down at his place. He ate slowly, methodically. Even though the food was delicious…Dobby was an excellent chef…Severus could not enjoy it. How could he enjoy anything when the child he loved as his own son was so miserable and there was no way to help him?

But…there was a way. Harry would be happy if he were free from the slavery spell.

Severus froze as the thought blossomed. In his mind's eye, he could see images of the bottles of potions ingredients that Albus had sent…highly toxic potions ingredients.

He had said that he would do anything to help Harry. Had he really meant it?

Eventually Severus pushed away his plate of half-eaten food and took Harry inside. Usually after dinner they sat outside a while, rocking on the sofa as Severus held Harry in his arms and talked with him, making plans for their future, telling him the old children's stories, trying to comfort him and offer him hope.

But tonight Severus put Harry to bed early, the boy silent and unprotesting as always. Then Severus went to his own room and sank down into an armchair. It was cooler at night than during the day, but it still wasn't really cold. Nonetheless, Severus felt chilled to the bone and he lit a fire in the fireplace.

He sat and gazed into the flames for hours, thinking and planning. At one point, he bowed his head and covered his face with his hands. This was not what he wanted. He had hoped so fiercely that Harry could recover and that the two of them could heal one another and find the peace and joy they deserved. But he had tried everything to heal Harry, and none of it had helped.

And if anyone in the world deserved happiness, it was Harry.

Severus would do anything for him, even if it required sacrificing himself.

It was long past midnight when he finally extinguished the flames and stood. He straightened his shoulders, lifted his chin, and walked briskly and purposefully down to the lowest level of the villa.

He had a potion to brew.


	7. Chapter 7

***Remember the OOC and mushiness warning at the beginning of the story? Well, I think this chapter lives up to those warnings!

Chapter 7

Severus worked steadily, efficiently, through the hours of the night. Lighting the flames under the cauldron, grinding up the hemlock, measuring the dragon's scales, stirring the mixture…his hands went through the motions swiftly with a detached ease, which left his mind free to consider other matters.

He did not doubt his decision. Harry needed to be free and death was the only way to destroy the slavery spell. Severus would not allow Harry to die. No, Harry deserved to live, really live, and to be happy. Therefore, Severus had to be the one to die. There was no other way.

But he had to make plans. Severus did not know if Harry would sense the slavery spell breaking when he died, if the boy would understand that he was free again, and if it would immediately rouse him from his catatonia. But Severus did not want Harry or Dobby to unknowingly come upon his own dead body.

He did not want Harry to be alone to deal with the aftereffects, either, if the boy were to come back to awareness. Severus would need to send news of his death to Ron and Hermione. They were the only other people who currently had access through the wards. But they could bring others with them. Severus decided that he would instruct them to bring the Weasley parents and Albus. After all, though Ron and Hermione were strong and clever, they were still very young themselves. It wouldn't really be fair to place the burden of handling his death onto their shoulders.

He would send them each a letter, Severus decided, a letter with a timed charm upon it so that it would appear in their homes at the instant he died, and if neither Ron or Hermione happened to be at their homes when the letters arrived, surely at least someone in the Weasley household would notice and would be able to reach them. Surely someone would come to be with Harry within a few minutes.

Severus had already re-written his will earlier in the summer, appointing Harry as his heir. They had always known that the death of either of them would break the slavery spell, and Severus had wanted to be certain that the boy would regain ownership of all his possessions assuming that Severus pre-deceased him. He had also wanted to leave his own belongings to Harry once he'd grown to think of the child as his son.

So Harry would be free again and would own everything once Severus drank the poison he was concocting. The villa could still be his home, if Harry wished to live there. If not, then he could sell it and return to Britain. Harry would be all right. He would have plenty of money to live on. He would have his friends, and Albus would be certain to watch out for him too.

Yes, Harry would be fine, once he was free.

Severus finished brewing just before sunrise. The poison was perfect. It was a lovely shade of silver with frothy bubbles on the surface, its appearance belying its deadly nature. Severus placed a stasis spell over the cauldron and then summoned a stimulant elixir as he left his laboratory and climbed the stairs to the ground level floor.

He stepped outside on the terrace and sipped the elixir as he watched the sun slip above the eastern horizon. He had decided that he would drink the poison that evening, after dinner. Perhaps it was selfish, but he wanted one more day with Harry. And if this were going to be his last day, he did not want to waste one minute of it sleeping, hence the stimulant elixir.

The sun's rays sparkled across the water, turning the waves gold and silver for a moment before it rose into the sky, leaving the sea a deep crystal blue. A few wispy clouds floated across the otherwise clear sky, and a seagull's rough caw broke the stillness.

Severus turned around and went inside to wake Harry.

It was an odd day for Severus, even though he and Harry followed the now-routine pattern of activities…bathing, dressing, eating meals on the loggia, going out to the beach, sitting together in the library while Severus read aloud to Harry. The minutes seemed to alternately drag and fly. There would be a period where Severus thought the time would never end, and then all of a sudden it would seem as if hours had flown by. He tried to savor every second, and he kept hoping desperately that there would be some response, some sign of awareness from Harry, but the child was as remote as ever.

After dinner Severus sat with Harry on the loggia for a long time, holding the boy in his arms as he rocked them back and forth in the small rocking sofa. Severus watched the sun set…his last sunset...in equal beauty to the sunrise at the beginning of that day and he wondered where the time had gone. He told Harry all the old fairy tales he could remember and then they sat in silence for a while as the sky turned dark and the stars came out.

The moon was high in the sky when Severus finally set Harry back in his wheelchair and took him inside to his room. He changed Harry into pyjamas, settled him into bed, and laid his spectacles on the night table. Then Severus perched on the edge of the bed and reached to hold Harry's hands.

"Harry, I want to thank you for the past few months," he said softly. "I know that it has been difficult for you, and I am so sorry for that, but having you live with me, getting to know you and to care for you…well, that has been a very special experience for me."

"You've made me into a better person and I'm grateful to you for that. I'm grateful to you for so many things, especially for saving me and all of us from Voldemort. I'm sorry that it took a slavery spell to do it. I wish that it could have all happened in a different way so that you could be happy too."

Severus drew a ragged breath. "I wanted you to be happy, Harry. I've tried so hard to make you happy, but I've failed and I'm sorry for that. I'm sorry that it took me so long to see who you really are. I'm sorry for all the mistakes I've made and for all the things I've said and done that have hurt you. You said once that you forgave me for all of that, but I do still feel very badly over it all. I only hope that through my actions tonight I can make it up to you and that you can be happy again."

Severus brushed his fingers through Harry's hair and then let his hand rest against Harry's cheek. He leaned over and kissed Harry's forehead. Then he stared into the child's eyes and caught his breath. For the first time in weeks, it almost seemed as if there were some awareness there, as if Harry might actually be seeing him.

"Harry?" He whispered, scarcely daring to breathe.

But there was no answer and if there was a spark of life in Harry's eyes, it faded. Severus sighed. He must have only imagined it. He wanted Harry to come back so badly, he was seeing things that weren't there.

"I have loved you as if you were my own son, Harry. Remember that," he finally said, gently squeezing the boy's hands. Then Severus stood and made himself walk out of the room without looking back.

If he had, he would have seen that Harry's head turned ever so slightly and his green eyes gazed after Severus as he left.

Down in his cellar-laboratory, Severus resolutely filled a glass with the deadly silver liquid. He held it up and studied it a moment. He held his own death in his hand. For the first time he felt a trickle of fear.

But Severus had never been one to shy away from his duty, no matter how terrible or frightening. And after all, he had never expected to survive the war anyway. He had always known his days were numbered. He had accepted it long ago. Over the past few weeks, he had dared to think that he had somehow beaten the odds, but it simply was not meant to be.

He could accept death if it would heal his son.

Severus sent a silent prayer up, asking for forgiveness for his own sins and for healing and happiness for his child. Then he took a deep breath and swallowed the poison in one long drink.

It tasted sweet. He had time to think wryly that that was an unexpected surprise, and then a wave of dizziness swept over him. He felt light-headed and somehow empty inside. He swayed and thought he was falling.

Then everything went black.

"Swallow it! Please swallow it!" The voice was so hoarse and cracked the words were almost indistinguishable.

Severus was just barely aware of the voice coming through the darkness like a lifeline, anchoring him, and then he gagged on something that was caught in the back of his throat. Fingers stroked his throat frantically and then Severus swallowed.

At once the blackness vanished though his vision was blurry for a few seconds. Severus saw a pale blob hovering over him, which then sharpened into Harry's face. He was lying on the floor of his laboratory, feeling cold and aching all over as if he had been trampled by a herd of hippogryffs.

Harry was there, kneeling by him, holding Severus in his arms and cradling him to his thin chest as Severus had held Harry so often these past weeks, speaking to him, _seeing_ him. The sight was so miraculous that Severus wondered if he had died and was in some sort of afterlife. But no…he probably wouldn't be cold and stiff and sore if that were the case.

"Harry…what?" Severus' own voice was so weak and reedy it shocked him into silence.

"Followed you," Harry said, his voice scratchy from long disuse. "I saw you…drink that stuff…and collapse." His fingers tightened convulsively on Severus' robes as he spoke.

"How…am I still alive?" Severus whispered.

"I summoned…a bezoar," Harry told him. His eyes were bright with tears, but in spite of everything the corners of his mouth lifted slightly in a tiny smile. "Didn't know…I could do…wandless magic."

"How did you know…about bezoars?" Severus had to ask.

Harry gave him a quizzical look. "You…taught us…in sixth-year. Don't you…remember?"

"Yes…but I didn't think…you ever paid any attention," Severus had to say.

"More than you think." Harry actually laughed a little for a second, but then his voice choked and he bowed his head.

Severus reached up and touched Harry's cheek with a trembling hand. If he had not been so caught up in the miraculous events of the past few minutes, he might have been disturbed at his own physical weakness, but right now that was nothing. He was alive! And Harry was awake!

But Harry was supposed to be free. He couldn't be happy otherwise.

"I wanted to set you free," he said softly, looking up earnestly into Harry's face.

Tears rolled down Harry's cheeks, but he shook his head fiercely. "Not like that! I don't want you…to die. I never wanted that."

"Harry, I know you would never…want me to die," Severus answered. "I was at the final battle. I saw you fight through five Death Eaters to save me."

He brushed at Harry's tears with his thumb. "But the way you've been the past weeks…I can't bear to see you like that. I would rather die myself than to know that you're in such pain."

Harry didn't answer but just bowed his head again, his shoulders shaking with silent sobs. Severus sat up and gathered Harry into his arms.

"Shh," he murmured, feathering his fingers through Harry's hair. "It will be all right."

Harry still didn't make any sound, but he continued to tremble and weep quietly. He shook his head against Severus' shoulder.

"It will," Severus insisted, but inside he had to wonder. How were they going to work things out? How could it possibly be all right?

For a long time they stayed, kneeling on the stone floor, holding onto one another, but eventually Severus decided that they should go upstairs. They needed to talk and the cold laboratory was not the most comfortable place for a discussion.

"Harry, why don't we go upstairs?" He suggested.

Harry nodded and together they stood, helping one another to their feet. Severus swayed slightly and immediately Harry looked at him in concern.

"Severus? Are you all right? Should we send for Madame Pomfrey or a healer?"

The irony struck Severus…all those weeks he had been so anxious for Harry's well-being, and now for the boy to worry over him. But there was really nothing for Harry to worry about now.

He shook his head. "I am fine. The bezoar banished all traces of poison from my system and healed any damage it might have done. There is some residual weakness for a few hours, but I am perfectly healthy."

It also occurred to Severus that if he had in fact needed medical attention, it might have been a bit tricky since they would have first had to contact Ron or Hermione and have them bring someone through. If he were going to live, and they remained at the villa, it might be wise to adjust the wards to allow a few others in.

"However, I do think perhaps we should use the Floo. I am not sure I am up to climbing two flights of stairs just yet," Severus said.

They helped one another over to the great fireplace. They were both still shaky, Severus from his near-death experience and Harry from weeks of not walking. In fact, now that he could see how unsteady Harry's legs were, Severus was amazed that he had been able to follow him all the way down to the laboratory.

Severus brought them up to Harry's bedroom and, still leaning against each other, they made their way over to the bed and practically collapsed onto it. After a moment Severus managed to plump up the pillows and prop himself into a half-sitting, half-reclining position against the headboard. Then he held out an arm to Harry.

Harry snuggled close to him, resting his head on Severus' shoulder and twining an arm around his chest. In spite of the dire circumstances, Severus couldn't help but feel a little thrill of joy that Harry was finally responding to him and seemed to feel some affection for him.

"How in the world did you manage to walk all the way down to my laboratory?" He had to ask.

Harry considered; then gave a small shrug. "Gryffindor pig-headedness, I guess."

"But why? I mean, why now? What happened to bring you out of that state you were in?" Severus wanted to know. "I'm…overjoyed to have you back. All this time I've prayed…and hoped…and tried so hard to reach you. But I don't understand how you knew to come tonight?"

Harry hesitated before speaking slowly, as if he were still puzzling it out himself as he talked. "I don't know exactly. You just seemed a little different today. I can't explain exactly, but somehow I knew you were going to do something, especially tonight. You said…you said you loved me. You said I was like…" he stopped and bit his lip, looking up at Severus uncertainly. "Like your son. Did you really mean it?"

Severus found it hard to speak around the lump that appeared in his throat. "Do you really have to ask?"

His voice came out a bit gruffer than he had intended, but he reached to brush his fingertips against Harry's tear-stained cheeks with loving tenderness.

Harry gave him a wobbly smile. "And then…you were speaking in the past tense. Somehow I just knew I needed to follow. I was so worried about you."

All the fear and anguish he'd experienced lately swelled in Severus' chest. "How do you think I've been feeling for the past month?" The words burst from him like flooded waters escaping a dam. "When you tried to kill yourself? When you wouldn't speak or look at me or respond in any way, no matter what I did? How do you think I felt?"

Harry gave him an agonized look and turned his head away, weeping again.

Severus reached to cup Harry's chin and turn his face back towards himself. His hand slid around to the back of the child's head and he gently guided Harry's head down to his shoulder again. He cuddled Harry close and murmured, "Shh, I'm sorry. I'm not angry with you. I just…don't understand. Obviously you were aware of what was going on around you. Couldn't you see how upset I was? And Ron and Hermione, too? Why did you go away from us like that?"

Harry just lay against him, crying, for a while before he managed to say, "I don't…think I can explain it."

"Try. Please. I need to understand." Severus said in a hoarse whisper.

Harry was silent a moment before giving a tiny nod and speaking in such a soft, low voice that Severus had to listen intently to hear him.

"All along I'd thought about maybe killing myself once Voldemort was gone. I'm sorry, Severus. I know you tried to help me, and you're wonderful. Really, you are. It isn't your fault at all. But you don't know what it's like to be a slave. I'm not worth anything. I'm not even a person anymore."

"Harry James Potter! How can you believe that?" Severus could not keep quiet. Once again he tilted Harry's chin so that his son had to meet his gaze. But while his voice and expression were fierce, Severus' touch was infinitely tender.

"I love you with all my heart," the Potions Master spoke in a pained voice. "I'm willing to die for you. Ron and Hermione feel the same way. Harry, you are so generous and noble and compassionate. I've never known anyone like you. Don't ever say that you're worthless. You are a wonderful person, the best person I've ever met. And you are most definitely a person. Anyone who says any differently will have to answer to me, and that includes you, Mr. Potter." Severus softened the admonishment by dropping a kiss on Harry's forehead again, touching his lips to the lightning-bolt scar.

Harry's face crumpled and he buried his face against Severus' shoulder again. Severus let him cry for a while, holding him and gently rubbing circles on his back to comfort him, before speaking again.

"Harry? Can you tell me the rest of it?"

Harry took a shaky breath. "And then, when you almost died in the battle and Madame Pomfrey resuscitated you, for just a minute I thought I might be free again."

He looked up at Severus, suddenly anxious. "I meant what I said before, Severus. I never wanted you to die. Not ever."

"I know." Severus nodded.

"But when Madame Pomfrey saved you, for a minute I thought it would be perfect. I would be free and you would still be alive, and Voldemort was gone. It would have been perfect."

"But then we found out I was still a slave," Harry's voice shook, but he kept going. "And it was…even worse than before, cause I'd had that moment to hope. I wanted to die so bad. I just wanted everything to end."

He sniffed and was quiet again for a time. Severus was silent too, his own heart breaking inside. He kept his arms around Harry and kept patting his back and after a little while Harry went on.

"When I woke up in the infirmary and realized that I was still alive, it was like…" his voice trailed off and he shook his head helplessly. "I don't know. The best way I can describe it is to say it was like this thick heavy black cloud surrounded me. Sometimes I wasn't really aware of things. Sometimes I would just sort of…go away in my mind. I'd think about my parents and Sirius or about things I did with my friends in the past."

"Sometimes I did know what was going on, and I felt really bad for hurting all of you. I wanted to speak or reach out in some way, but I just couldn't. The cloud was so heavy and it pressed on me. I couldn't break through it. It was so much stronger than I was." Harry sighed. "I guess that doesn't really make sense, but it's the best I can explain it."

"But you did break through it tonight," Severus pointed out.

Harry nodded. "I was so worried about you."

He looked straight into Severus' eyes. "I love you, too, Severus."

Tears filled Severus' own eyes and slid down his cheeks, the first tears he had shed in many years. He could not speak right away, but he hugged Harry close.

And even through his pain, he felt hope stirring again. If he and Harry loved one another, there had to be a way to make things better.

There had to be.


End file.
